The Burly Movember

The Philosophical Postulation of a Month Commencing Identity

You’re something, and then you’re not. That’s how it seems to go in periods at a time. Like at a certain point I was a college kid, frat guy, and into you, in no particular order. Then I wasn’t.  

When I graduated from college I had a difficult transition. I started working almost immediately after walking. The landing was rough, personally, and I leaned on less than a handful of people in an immense way. Had they not been there I’m not sure how things would have worked out. 

Movember is another period of time defining identity. For a while you have a mustache and people take time adjusting to this new you. Then that’s you. Then it goes away, and it’s an adjustment all over again. Just long enough to become established, just short enough to be expendable. 

This Movember 2011 was fundamentally different from my first go around, Movember 2010. I didn’t have expectations the first time, unlike this time. Those expectations were exceeded. In a strange way they were also redefined. It’s odd to be standing in line for pizza surrounded by drunk people who won’t can’t stop commending you on your facial hair. That’s your identity to them. And to you, they’re just vodka drinking lushes. We both, however, have control over this.

Tomorrow I will wake up, shower, and then shave off my mustache. Afterward I will still be me. I will then thank God for that, notably because there is no cancer afflicting me, at least that I know of. I wish I could say the same for everyone else out there. Maybe this month pushed us a little closer to be able to do that thanks to people like you. They all deserve it because, like many things, we all deserve to control our own identity - like having a mustache or not.

Thanks for reading this and thanks for your support. It’s been real. 

I told you something. It was just for you and you told everybody. So I learned cut out the middle man, make it all for everybody, always. Everybody can’t turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows, I told them.

-“That Power” - Childish Gambino

SI: Memorable Mustaches in Sports

Sports Illustrated has been running a gallery of Memorable Mustaches in Sports that I’m really fond of. 

Throughout high school I personally idolized Adam Morisson (will always remember the 05-06 season - him and JJ Redick) and Steve Prefontaine (ran cross country). 

Conversely, Curt Schilling? Really?

The Worst Conversation of My Life

Before I begin I feel that I owe you a disclaimer. What follows is a story raw in nature. It’s a departure from what’s usually written on this blog, but this story is genuine and real. Like real life on a day-to-day basis, some things you just have to deal with. 

Read More

Sweet Potato Pie and I Shut My Mouth

On my way to work each morning I pass a church. The church uses a sign out front to share the message of the week, kind of like this one. Whoever at the church puts the sign up has a good sense of humor. A lot of the messages are funny, but sometimes serious as well, with the most notable one in recent memory being a thoughtful memorial message following 9/11 this past year. This past week the sign read something like, “Giving thanks was never meant to be for a single day.”

As I’ve gotten older I’ve begun to appreciate Thanksgiving more and more. That might have something to do with the day drinking with my family I now use the holiday for, but I’ll say I appreciate Thanksgiving so much now because I’ve gotten really good at calculating all the things in my life I’m thankful for. You definitely have as well, so it’s nothing new - that is the idea behind the holiday. Yeah, at times it almost seems cliche and self aggrandizing, but whatever. I like Thanksgiving. I like it a s- ton. And I’m thankful for so much. Because I’m humble. And awesome. But mostly humble.

I don’t need to tell you everything I’m thankful for. I hope that shows each day in my actions. It’s worth mentioning, though, that I try to take care of myself because I’m thankful for my health. I want others to be able to say the same thing, even if I haven’t met them. This gratitude encourages my Movember. Donate here and join me. Only six days left.

The hardest part about being me?

My struggle, served as a reminder to me by C. Sweet, a faithful friend.

“It was nice to meet you.”

Last night I was told my mustache was really hipster; mustaches were the new “in” thing.

Yeah, whatever girl, I was on this before you found happiness ironic.

Once upon a time the knee-jerk reaction to a mustache might have been, “Montana. Alabama. Get sh*t done,” with a healthy mix of Bob Dylan’s greatest thrown in for good measure. Hell, recently it would have even been a luxury to settle on Adam Morrison and our mutual friends Big & Rich. Now? Looks like it’s just all SoHo and vinyl from this point forward.

As much as Movember is a movement to raise awareness for men’s health issues, I find it just as similarly an individual case study in social perception. When you meet someone new and you have a mustache that’s all they know you as. What was I before, what am I now, what am I tomorrow. You can be someone else, just temporarily, then go back to yourself and feel that much more comfortable in your own skin.

Winter today, summer tomorrow. That’s what it feels like.

28 and 2/3rds

I went out last night. That’s nothing new. What’s new was how many separate instances of compliments I received on my mustache.

28 in total. Not that I was counting.

It’s hard not to start taking mental notes on these things when it’s happening so frequently. Drunk people love mustaches, and I almost got a free beer because of that. But then I didn’t, because drunk me loves wandering off.

I discussed this compliment phenomenon in my previous post. 

Also, now that it’s November 20th, Movember is 2/3rds of the way through. Donate here.

I Appreciate the Compliment, though I Question the Motive

More than last year, I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my mustache. Most are simply something like, “Nice mustache,” with a warm smile. They aren’t condescending or sarcastic in any manner, either; I’m banking on my experience in sarcasm for being a good judge when it comes to that. My wealth of sarcastic experience dictates my expertise, like when I’ve told you before, “Nice tattoo,” I’ve had a lot of practice. 

This year, out of the blue, people have been more motivated to quickly drop a comment in passing. Whether it’s in the bar scene, at the gym, or on the job, I get it frequently - more so if I happen to make eye contact. 

I like the comments. It gives me an opportunity to explain why I have a mustache - there’s the essence of Movember, case in point. (On a side note, it seems that the awareness of Movember has actually increased too, based on a number of interactions I’ve had this way, so I’m pumped about that.) Afterward, for the Movember-uninformed, I always think about what motivated them to say something, though. My theory is that mustaches just aren’t all that commonly seen on people my age, and definitely not seen this well established, so it elicits a meaningful reaction. 

Throughout it all, the exchange is peculiar because it’s hard to get away with randomly complimenting a stranger without giving off a strange vibe.

Food for thought: maybe our society is adjusting to a new custom of compliments.

The next pretty girl I see I’m going to tell, “Nice face.” We’ll see how that goes.

I Ain’t Fake

Some conversations you will remember forever. They’re the ones that cause your heart to swell. They crush you with disappointment. They make you incredulous at the amount of stupidity that’s possible. This world must be a joke sometimes.

That latter happened today. Put this in context: it’s been 16 days now.  She’s seen me each Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday within that period. I’m hard to miss.

“Why didn’t you tell me your mustache wasn’t fake?!”

…Why would I have to tell anyone my mustache isn’t fake?

“You told me it was.”

I definitely did not.

“I thought you put it on your face each day.”

…It grows longer each day.

I tried my hardest not to let my brain explode. Why the hell would I put a fake mustache on my face each morning? Why the hell wouldn’t I be fired after the second day if I was?

While trying to rationalize it, as my roommate (a Movember donor, by the way) said, that’s not gullible. Gullible is seeing a fake mustache and thinking it’s real; That’s just stupid. 

Was real, is real, will be real - always.

See Me at the Halfway Point

Being the 15th day of November, this Movember is now halfway through. It’s a good point to look around, look back and look forward.

I like writing because it reminds me of where I was a time ago.

Last year on this day I was blasting Gillette. Today I put to use a new razor blade from a sampler pack I ordered a while back. Ironically, turns out it was a Gillette Goal. It kind of sucks. Shocker.

Last year I had a lot more time to write, and I think it shows. I’ll try to pick it up, finish strong.

This year I have a substantially better mustache, and I think that shows, too. I will keep it up, finish strong.

Resolve, personally; finishing strong.